Regular Tuesday with Irene - Goes Remote

Today, we find ourselves in Regular Tuesday with Irene, while she gets waxed. It's a full on full body wax job. Many gracious readers will be surprised to learn that behind my hot and fashion forward exterior is a woman who knows nothing about the process of waxing for grooming style. Since I've never seen something like this it was fun to be the un-silent observer. What a fascinating ritual! What a great way to get all those great endorphins without having to become a cutter! We were out at the Lands End Spa. I'd never been out there before and what a delightful place. Very warm and tranquil. It was just beautiful and the practitioner was a delightful and down to earth woman who was gracious to answer all my many questions. I learned so many things today, I don't know where to start... Maybe I should just start with the list....

Things I Learned From A Professional Waxer:

1. Thongs are a bacteria superhighway
   
2. They are not called armpits, they are 'underarms'
   
3. The wax used is a magical secret recipe that enhances the ripping experience.
   
4. It's not a butt or an ass, it's a buttocks
   
5. It's not bleeding, it's just irritation. So when your practitioner says, "You are experiencing some irritation." What she is really saying is, "You are bleeding."
6. There is a style in hairstyles. If you catch my drift.
   
7. There are two kinds of wax and the one that is used in places where the paper won't fit looks a lot like Silly Putty
   
8. No, she does not mind seeing all these naked privates, and no she does not remember them.
   
9. You have to try to imagine the places I might be talking about.
   
10. The Hair needs to be a certain lengh for maximum elimination from the body.
    
11. One of the questions she is frequently asked by new clients who have been regular waxers at other establishments, "Do you use your hand?" This is a pain moderation technique where the practitioner uses their hand to apply pressure to the location in the hopes of taking the sting out. Yes, she uses her hand.
    
12. She is a private person who is not very social and so she does not run into people that she has Brazilian waxed around town. ( I personally think of this as a selling feature).

Irene is very tough and so she made the waxing look very easy, almost like a advertisement. Those Vietnamese ancestors of hers had a pretty high pain threshold! Especially when they were putting that silly putty in some of those nooks and crannies.

WATCH THIS MOVIE FOR AN AUDIO REPRESENTATION OF THE WAXING EXPERIENCE

I was able to get this video of a wax pull from her arm pit. In the video, you will hear her tiny scream, which I felt was very mellow compared to what mine would have been. I mean, the woman is so not of German Polish ancestry. She had like, 4 hairs on the backs of her legs. For real.

In summary, I would highly recommend the Land's End Spa for all waxing needs!

What else happened today? We went to the dentist. Everyone has great looking teeth. Jenny told me that she said to Falcom; "Do you know why soda is bad for you?" and he said, "Caffeine?" and she said, "yea, but I was thinking more of something that was in the soda." And he looked at her without knowing, and she said, "It starts with an S" and he said, "They put shit in soda?!" Made her day.

Today Marina also got to pet cats at the shelter. The cats are always so grateful to the hands who will pet them.