10th Wedding Anniversary

Not every anniversary can be spent in the throws of princess-ish-ness and solitude. Not every anniversary can touch the magnificence of the igloo or the wildflower cabin.

This year, our anniversary came just as the salmon fishing was getting hot. The night of our anniversary Vince was driving back to Homer from work with a dozen roses in the passenger seat of the truck. The next morning we were up and fishing. The following morning, smoking and canning fish. The following day, fishing.

In between all that we took a break to be together. My mom watched the kids and Vince asked me if I wanted to go out to eat. Honestly, with all the traveling and entertaining we've been doing lately, none of the restaurants that normally pique my interest were intriguing me. "How 'bout Duggan's?" he said.

Duggan's. Duggan's bar. Formerly Waterfront Bar. Formerly a place Dawn and I would spend a Saturday night. It is also a place where I met a guy named Pierre who had a scar on his face from where he had been kicked by a kangaroo as a child.

Ah, yes... a perfect place for an anniversary. I like to go to Duggan's with Vince because it is the kind of place where no one will know us and no one will bother us as we slide down wings and a burger. Especially when we are there early in the evening, before it gets hopping.

This time was also fun because we could play Wii Golf while we ate our wings and burgers. I have a secret love of Wii Golf.

Do bars fall under the sames laws of community and privacy as AA meetings or hospital clinics? Is there a certain code of silence a person agrees to when they step over the threshold of the adult establishment? Oh, that's right! No. Many great lives have been ruined from flying gossip that sprung from a bar. Therefore, do not read on if you feel that gossiping about what happens in a bar is sacrilege.

And so we sat, enjoying peaceful non-confrontational conversation, playing Wii, having drinks. I got eyeballed by a guy at the bar who didn't realize I was Vince's wife. "Oh! Vince, is this your lovely wife! I didn't know..."

Vince said, "Of course you wouldn't, I just brought her here from Russia. Where is your wife?"

"She was out, +*&** someone else! Oh...sorry madam." He looked at me feeling bad for forgetting there was a lady in the bar.

Vince said, "That's alright, she's new to the language." I laughed.

He left, continued on to his pool game and whiskey, and Vince and I continued on with Wii. When a woman I know walked in with a man who was not her husband. They snuggled up into the corner with their drinks.

It got me thinking about long term relationships and monogamy. Is there a secret to longevity? Is there a key to staying in love for more than six months to a year? I read an interview with an elderly woman who had been married for 70 years. (This was in ADDitude Magazine and was about how to keep us AD/HD heads in a relationship for more than a fleeting moment.) She said, "Being married was something we chose to do. We decided to be married and walk this path together." I knew that this meant

for as long as we both shall live

I am not at this point with Vince. Feelings come and feelings go, and we are married and although I can't get my mind around the idea of 'for as long as we both shall live', I know that I am still doggedly committed to this man and it's not because I have to be, but rather because I chose to be...

Vince is a great man and I give thanks for him daily.

Meanwhile, Vince got a little snitty at me when we got in the car and he caught me sending a text to a friend describing the infidelity going on in the heart of Homer. He quickly recanted when I read aloud her response..."Wait? If she's in the bar, who is home with my kid who is spending the night at her house?"

Happy Anniversary Vince! I love you...