Diamonds on the Soles of My Shoes

Tonight I brought our cousin Rick to Seward to say a final farewell to his brother, our cousin Chuck, who is dying of brain cancer.

I don't think I need to go into this much because every reader of this blog can imagine what this is like for Chuck's immediate family. You can also imagine what it is like for the second line of defense, our family: The help or lack of help we can provide. The words of comfort we try to speak that have no where to go. It's tricky.

It has got me thinking about beginnings and endings. About a month ago, right before my ill fated truck wreck and hospital visit, I was cleaning (I know...I know...grab your oxygen mask, it's a shock!) and found some old cassette tapes. The truck cassette player still works and so I was making my kids listen to them. Early Prince was not a good choice for Fal, as he seems to glom right on to the parts of the songs that no one at school will appreciate him singing. "I wanna be your...lover..."

I made another selection, Paul Simon's Graceland. In an interesting twist, Marina fell in love with the song, "Diamonds on the Soles of Her Shoes". She made me rewind it. She wanted to know all about that image. She wanted to know how a person could get diamonds on the soles of her shoes. I was blown away by her eagerness to hear about this and was instantly transported back to a distant summer in Yosemite. I told her that I used to know a young man who thought I had diamonds on the soles of MY shoes, and that I am sure, through the mere act of being my daughter, that she did in fact have diamonds on the soles of her shoes.

Unfortunately, she is a literal-ist, like her father, and said, "maybe if I used a glue gun." She popped me right back into the now.

The days when we listened to those songs are like a lifetime ago, but still, the art of that time brings them back so clearly. All the memories of a youthful Alana sitting by the Merced River, driving around in Sid, playing with her friends. Happy times, sad times, wild times, painful times. The time rolling by...and like a wave, rolling back, surprising me by coming out of nowhere.

My pictures of Falcom as a tiny kid crawling around in Yosemite that he HAD to hang up in his classroom this year are now down laying on my counter waiting to get put back into his baby book. Where did my baby go? Last weekend I got to listen to him sleep in the back of the Mel Mobile and I had him back, but when he woke up he was a gape toothed 10 year old again.

Now Phyllis (Chuck's mom) is loosing her baby. Rick is loosing his brother. Time is going by and circling back all at once. Are we still living strongly? With purpose? Are we burning our karma or creating more? When we say hello how long are we going to get to keep that friend? When we say good bye, how long until we are brought back together? Will it be in this life, or the next?

I broke away from the hospital room and had a perfect moment over this amazing burger in the quiet of an old train car near the Seward Harbor while Neil Young's Harvest Moon was playing over head. No, I'm not making that up! After Neil Young was Keb Mo. And the burger! It was perfect! And there was not one kid with me grossing me out by eating with their hands or interrupting me, just me and quiet and Sudoku.

Then I took the van (that's right, that big ass Mormon family van, The Mel Mobile) over to Safeway where I bought a pie for Rick, Chuck and Phyllis. On my way back to the hospital in the parking lot of Safeway, I got distracted by a group of Chilean Tourists who needed a ride. They were cruise ship types and it brought me great joy to load them into the van to get them out of the rain and to their hotel. I loved hearing their voices. Their accents. Their amazement at Alaska. Beautiful people sitting in my dusty, kid worn van. Yes, I took this picture of it for my blog.

My family was waiting for me at the hospital. They loved hearing about my fun with the Chileans in the hillbilly van and each had a big slice of strawberry pie. Us having desert last weekend, while camping in the Mel Mobile. Picture courtesy of Falcom.

Pretty soon the doctor came in. He checked over Chuck while Phyllis (Chuck and Rick's Mom) dropped over from a blood sugar problem. Rick can barely move with his paralysis. Chuck was trying to stay conscious enough to help me help his mom. What a mess. I couldn't believe that doctor could just leave me in that mess like that. Maybe he needs to pay off his hot tub and was hoping I would have Phyllis admitted so he could score a paycheck. No, he probably just realized she was manifesting her intense grief. The nurse on duty got me some peanut butter and in a few minutes she was back on her feet.

On the way home Phyllis made several comments about dying. She's going to die of a broken heart.

That is not going to stop me from hauling her to Anchorage with me tomorrow to take Rick back to the airport to head back to Florida.

I'll do my best to make them smile and help them step out of this moment in time during our trip tomorrow, but unfortunately, I won't be able to keep them there. They will have to experience re-entry...

In the parking lot of the hospital, a robin family has made their nest in a tree only two feet off the ground. It is killing me having to check on that crazy family each day. Every day I think, "Little Robin..if none of these eggs make it and you've been wasting your time because of this bad choice you made, I'm going to be pissed! This is the kind of literary symbolism I HATE!" Upon checking on them today, I found her still there, sitting tightly, waiting out the storm...

Poll Answer: DeeJay's Perfect Job

Thanks to Paul G, DeeJay took a field trip about a month ago to Seward where he checked out AVTEC (Alaska Vocational Training Education Center). When he arrived back home all he could say was that it was very strict and he didn't think he could go there. When I asked why he told me that if you miss a day of school they will put you on probation. I asked him if he had ever missed a day of school.

He looked at me and then said, "well...no..."

That was all that I heard about AVTEC until my coffee meeting with Paul. It seems that Paul found out about a great career opportunity at AVTEC that DeeJay missed while he was worrying about getting on probation.

MARITIME TRAINING - CREW MEMBER ON A TUGBOAT

When Paul interviewed the instructor it sounded like a perfect job for DeeJay. DeeJay's skill set and temperment are perfect for the job. The industry is in dire need of workers and the pay is great.

Nothing he could say was convincing DeeJay of this. DeeJay could not bring himself to think about going to AVTEC because he was under the impression it was so strict.

Paul was really having a tough time cracking that egg. Then he got an idea. He stood up in front of DeeJay's class at the white board, marker in hand, and said, "This is what I earn. This is how much I work. This is how much a tug boat crew member makes. This is how much they work."

DeeJay is very excited to go to AVTEC and become a crew member on a ship. Paul is considering a career change.

seward

if you have seen the film "little miss sunshine" then you have a vague windy impression of our weekend road trip to seward. falcom and marina even made a music video for our cousin while visiting him in the hospital yesterday. the campground here is super with an awsome playground and skate/bike park. acs put internet on my phone and since falcom is asleep in the back of the van, i figure now is as good a time as any to play with it. a new technology...all because of a broken home phone.fal is passed out in the back of the mel mobile and for the first time in six years i'm peacefully sitting in the car listening to his breathing...ah

Mom, I've Got a Phone Problem

Boots, Fishing Poles and Bull Moose

The other night I was not able to access the Internet. I was tired. I didn't want to try to restart the router. Finally, I did. Like a hamster on a wheel, I just kept trying to restart the Internet until I remembered the definition of insanity; trying the same things over and over again, expecting different results is insanity. Finally, I picked up the phone to call ACS hoping that one of their super friendly Internet repair people could assist me in getting my Internet to work again. (I am addicted to 'Dead Like Me' on Netfilx now and was motivated.)

No dial tone.

Hannah Grady getting candy Lei's from Marina at her graduation from Homer High School

Really motivated to call ACS the lady gave me the old, "Have you checked your grey box out front for a tone?" line. I checked. No tone. "We will send out a repairman soon." The vagueness kills me. "In the mean time", she said, "I will forward your phone to your cell."

The next morning the repairman called and told me that the phone line had been cut at the road and that if I had any information about who had been fixing the road it would be appreciated. I said, "Look, I do not need to be in a pissing match between you and the borough. Someone needs to fix my phone!"

They won't tell me this because they aren't like that, but I am quite sure that my telephone will not be fixed until after the weekend. Because of this I have told ACS to put Internet on my phone. I haven't figured out how to use it yet, but at least I'm getting something out of this problem...right? Just not getting to watch Dead Like Me.

Marina in New Dress

Mom, this is why I have not called you. Until my phone gets fixed, you will have to call me and I think it may be free to call you this weekend, but I'm not sure. Love you!

Carnival!

$40.



12 Rides.

35 Minutes.

Welcome to the Annual Homer Carnival.

Because of the rain, I did not have the population to draw from to conduct a thorough study of individual families carnival spending habits.

Because of the rain I was very concerned about my children being electrocuted. I kept telling myself that we were all wearing rubber soled shoes and that we would be OK because of that. This is a safety point I was taught by my mother who told me this same thing when I would ask her why we would not be hurt by the lightning striking our car a far off summer ago in Southern Illinois.

Fortunately, two capable friends were there, Karen (super capable) and Giulia (an er doc) and when I witnessed them willingly put their children on the rides I figured it would be OK. Sure enough there were no close encounters with electricity.

Or maybe the shoes were doing their jobs...
This year Marina learned about the Midway. She had learn about the disappointment that goes along with getting the insignificant consolation prize instead of the big stuffed animal. She was shocked, albeit relieved, to hear about the tricks that carnivals use to take a lot of money from kids while giving away very few prizes. She took great relief in hearing this not only from Willie and I, but from her Dad, who explained about all the times he'd not won the big tiger.


This year Falcom felt ready to tackle the big ride. The Hurricane. Willie had just gone on the ride with his friend Naomi and he agreed to go with Falcom only after warning him that it was pretty scary. These shots are of the boys on the ride; Willie convincing Falcom that he is going to be alright and to please not puke the entire time.

DeeJay is not in these pictures because he was not with us. He decided that he would rather go to the library, see some friends, and walk around town instead. Was it the rain or the fact that 18 year olds don't really want to be seen hanging out with little kids that kept him from joining the group that was bleeding my wallet dry? Probably both.

He and I are celebrating. He passed another of his High School Qualifying Exams this quarter. We are going on a date to the movies tonight to celebrate.

17 Mile East End Road Fire

McNeil Canyon Elementary School Parking Lot: Staging Area for Fire Crews

Close your eyes. Visualize my face. Eyes rolled up toward the ceiling. Head shaking back and forth. What would cause me to have this kind of amazed, sarcastic, disbelief? Hearing the latest Redoubt Volcano Eruption update immediately following the 17 Mile East End Road fire update.

No, fortunately the volcano is not erupting.

I am sure that many loyal readers of this blog who live in distant lands can not imagine how, after only two weeks since seeing pictures on this blog of enormous amounts of snow, our state could be in the midst of a severe fire season. I am sure that it would never cross some peoples minds to lump Alaska into the same fire hazard mound as you would put Southern California. (In fact, I imagine that extremely loyal readers remember a blog posting one year ago about how it was hailing and I was more than slightly annoyed.)

Let me take a few paragraphs to explain.

McNeil Canyon Fire Hall

There are a couple factors that I can tell you about which lead to this dangerous situation. 15 years ago our neighborhood was tucked into a forest of spruce trees. The trees were beautiful, tall and healthy. This forest was much different than other forests I hiked through as a youth; the spruce have branches that grow all the way to the forest floor. These low branches are thin and poke like needles. The trees are growing tightly next to each other. Take this description to mean that these forests were not necessarily ones that you could hike through if you wanted to.

Vince and me snowshoeing with Emily Ward in the pre-spruce bark beetle days

The view of the sea and Kenai mountain range was obscured from most of our homes. Many people had homes with trails cut through the forest from their parking pads at the road to their homes. The neighborhood was not densely populated then. People usually had built their homes on multi-acre lots. It was quiet and beautiful.

Then the spruce bark beetle infestation began to spread. It was hard to believe at first that we should be thinning the forest, or spraying the trees, or just clearing the land to sell the trees while they were still healthy. A big part of the community was in denial (including myself). Vince and I were not in a position to have to make those kinds of tough choices at the time, as we were not landowners and being childless, mortgage less, and young we chose to take a hiatus and head to Saipan for a while.

Crappy picture of a typical East End Road View in the pre-spruce bark beetle days

When we returned from Saipan we were shocked! The trees had all died. The view of Kachemak Bay and the glaciers beyond was visible nearly the entire stretch of East End Road. Large swaths of dead trees were being cleared by land owners.

Areas that were not being cleared were frightening places during winter storms. I remember one night in late January in a small cabin we were renting. There was a fierce wind storm blowing across the inlet and up the bay. Falcom was asleep in his crib. I was laying beside him in my bed and Vince was on the phone with Valda to see if we could come to her place to sleep as trees were snapping like matchsticks all around us. Crack! Smash! Crack! It was a long night.

At this same time, land owners were subdividing and cashing in on their newly emerging views. Investors from outside were riding that mortgage bubble and buying up this land to build their second homes or retirement homes. Ours is a dynamic neighborhood.

Getting back to how Homer Alaska could go from three foot snow berms to Extremely high fire danger in two weeks...

After the snow melts what is left is last years brown dry sedge grass and the standing and lying down remains of our spruce forest. The snow is gone, the ground is wet but everything above the ground is dry...extremely dry. Imagine making a campfire. The sedge grass is like a crumpled up newspaper. The dead spruce tree branches are the kindling, and the trunks are the wood.

You would not need to be Survivorman to stay warm in this forest. Two years ago we had the Caribou Hills Fire which was started by a spark that shot off the tip of a spade that someone was sharpening. This year it is a downed power line on some sedge grass.

Why this is so dangerous for our neighborhood is that we have only one road twisting up the bay to our community. It runs more than twenty miles and after mile 16 starts to feel very remote. It is a mixture of private and borough lands. At the end of the road are the Russian Old Believer villages. These are orthodox communities that keep themselves separate in order to preserve their faith system.

Wednesday, the fire was getting under control. Wednesday night the wind picked up and was gusting. The helicopters with their water buckets were back.

Thursday: The state Department of Forestry has upgraded our fire to grade 1 and we are now inundated with fire squads from all over the state.
Valda and Janet M. are at the fire hall helping to organize food distribution. The parking lot at McNeil Canyon Elementary school is next to the fire hall and is the staging area for the fight. It is full of fire engines. The playground behind the school is being filled up with tents for sleeping firefighters. If you are an owner of a bulldozer you are probably out cutting a fireline.

Inside the fire hall tables are set up with telephones and terrific volunteers are keeping food spread out like a buffet line while loading up boxes to be delivered out to the fire lines.

At school this morning the kids got to go on tours of fire trucks. Firemen were spreading out in the almost green grass all around the school yesterday afternoon waiting to be deployed. One single woman I know was more than a little impressed with all of the fit uniformed firemen lounging around in the afternoon sun. So, for all the Weight Watchers single gals, if you are looking for an excuse to bake a cake... (picture of firemen taken by a sneaky Willie)


The kids also have been baking cookies to take to the fire hall. Since we were in town yesterday delivering vegetable boxes, Valda dispatched us to pick up food and drink contributions from local merchants. We also filled up our truck with Gatorade and delivered it to the fire hall.

I just got a call from Suzanne. She is a teacher at Kachemak Selo School in the Old Believer Village. She rides a four wheeler each day down a switchback trail from the end of East End Road to the beach, where she travels to the secluded community. Yesterday, when the fire was smaller the district cancelled school. Today, school has not been cancelled. When I describe Suzanne to people and I tell them what she does I usually throw in the words, kick ass and macho. This morning when she called me she was scared. This is what she said:

It is like a war zone, miles and miles of black and burning forest. Smoke is everywhere. I think I saw one house burned down. I am scared and I can not believe that they have not cancelled school. The troopers stopped me and asked me what I'm doing and he said, "They didn't cancel school?" Seriously, there are firefighters everywhere. Seriously, this is very scary.

As for our family. It is a great relief to me knowing that the fire team is stationed between the fire and my house. Clouds are moving in and that should help with the suppression efforts. We have been blessed with many offers from friends and town neighbors to stay at their places should we need to be evacuated. It is good knowing that there are such strong friends around.

Please keep the members of the Old Believer Communities in your hearts, prayers, or whatever faith system you follow. They have chosen not to evacuate their villages and as we see from Suzanne's testimony, it is a dangerous place for them to be.

In non-fire related news, my knee is getting better each day. Falcom and Marina are only telling one out of every four people they meet about my car accident, down from four out of four...

The carnival is in town this weekend.

I Love You, Man is playing at the theater and I am hoping to have a date to it with DeeJay, who, when I mentioned this date, is afraid that I want to take him to a movie that is in the same theme as Brokeback Mountain. I find this amusing and am looking forward to shocking him.

Vince will be spending the weekend in Seward with his family where our cousin Chuck has taken a turn for the worse in his battle with brain cancer.

The life in the Greear Family. What a ride.

Summer Edition: Regular Tuesday WITHOUT Irene

Although school is still in session and the leaves have yet to bud out on the alders, we have been having outrageously warm weather and we have been enjoying every opportunity to be outdoors.
This being Alaska, one can never be sure if the blue skies will last. We grab vitamin D while we can.Irene has been in Flagstaff Arizona for the past week enjoying time with her newly graduated daughter Sarah. I spent the morning without her at the High School, talking with Paul G. about DeeJay's schedule next year, my obsession with the state of Alaska's over zealous testing of our students, and what Paul has found (during a field trip with DeeJay to Alaska Vocational Training Educational Center) to be DeeJay's perfect perfect perfect job once he graduates from High School. Please see quiz at the side of this blog to guess what that might be.

I also got to spend some time visiting with Sharon G. in the nurses office at the high school. It's the end of the year and no one was complaining of an ailment so she had a moment. I had to take a picture of her next to this poster about abstinence. I guess studies reveal that kids are more likely to try abstinence if the posters are made with a groovy font and the cartoon people are more edgy. I heard a fantastic quick lecture last night about young women and pre-marital sex. Leave a comment or email me if you would like more information on that.

I came home last night to a message on the answering machine from the Commissioner of Education for the State of Alaska.

I'm calling because of a "Flurry of emails that seem to be going back and forth about some questions you have..."

I don't think that Mr.LaDoux is on Facebook, because from what I've seen in the modern world, two emails is not a flurry. This is why Irene made me pinkie swear that I would never join Facebook.

If any of you have any interest in hearing about why I have a problem with the State of Alaska paying over $200,000 to a corporation for more redundant testing of our students, please leave a comment and I will gladly go about my rant.

Russ is here from medical school for a visit. It is wonderful having him here. He has jumped on the tramp with Falcom non-stop, challenged everyone at Wii, woke Willie up with wet-willies, worked on the boat with Vince, gave free medical advice to Otto K., shored up my opposition to excessive and redundant testing of our high school students, and has made sure to burp each time he passes by me. He also plays Suduko with me...Last night was our annual 'Make Pizza with Russ' night. They made so much they had extras to take to the fire hall, which was in full gear due to a wild fire at 16 mile east road.

With the helicopters no longer flying overhead we are assuming that the fire is now under control. We did joke about the fire, and the volcano going off, and the threat of a tsunami, and the likelihood of a mid-May snow storm. All possible, Ah!laska.

Enjoy the sun!

Happy Mothers Day!

Look! There is even a news article about me. Check it out...



http://news.cnnbcvideo.com/?nid=YJ5D3WDZSOPjewdtffmjnjc4ODI2MA--&referred_by=15448812-x8Ey6ex&p=moveon


Sweet Happy Mother's Day to all!

Another Wild Week

Events This Week

Woke up one morning to this beautiful display...love notes by the coffee pot.
Was fortunate enough to be able to enjoy the The Wise Families court date to finalize their adoption of Maya. I've been blessed to go to a few of these now and they are always so plain and uneventful and yet so life changing.

Made apple butter in the crock pot with spices left over from our trip to Bali. I love calling my apple butter Bali Butter.

McNeil School had their Spring Music Festival. The kids looked so cute.Both Marina's and Falcom's classes danced instead of sang. Lenore said that there was only one kid in the class who wanted to sing instead of dance. The crowd assumed it was Falcom, but I could see from the smile on Falcom's face that he was elated to be dancing instead of singing.

These are some of my wild Alaskan friends.

By the way, if you can ever get him to sing the Alaskan state song for you, he sounds very sweet at it.

On Friday, McNeil Canyon Elementary School celebrated it's 25th birthday.

It was quite a party! The entire community was invited. Bar-B-Que, activities, singing, and this Fantastic Cake! We saw old friends and enjoyed the fun things that happen at this beautiful community school. Vince and Marina tried their hand at stilts. Not as easy as it looks.

That evening, Marina built herself a wonderful house in our living room and slept in it. She is looking for supplies so that she can make it into a more spacious apartment building.



News from Guam:

Lucy and Manuel (DeeJay and Willie's Mom and Dad) are no longer having to be living in the serfdom of this nasty old man. Lucy called yesterday to tell us that he has been thrown in jail for molesting his granddaughter. His wife came to move the families into an apartment at his expense because he could not be released from jail until the children (Stacy and Germaine) were off his land. Lucy and Manuel took this opportunity to say, "No Thanks!" and are now free from that mess and living with cousins in a house and are very happy.

News from Hawaii:

Resihna's oldest son (Falcom's oldest bio-brother) has died in a drowning accident in Honolulu Harbor. Please keep them in your hearts.

Falcom's Birthday Weekend Extravaganza

May 4th welcomed Falcom's 10th year on the planet. Ten years old. When I first held the bouncing Buddha baby I did not imagine that he could turn ten. He was so precious then, with his thick body and sparkling eyes. His body is still stout and his eyes are still very sparkly. I may not be able to hold him anymore, but he is still precious.

Some things have changed since he's grown up to be ten. For instance, when he was younger, late night wake ups would have gone something like this. "Mom." He would whisper as he stood at my bedside at 4am. I would say, "Falcom, it is 4am come over here and go back to sleep. It is not time to wake up." and he would have gotten in bed with me and Vince and fallen back to sleep. Now, as a 10 year old it goes like this. He stood at my bedside at 4am and whispered, "Mom, I..." Knowing what he was thinking, I said, "You get back in bed. It is 4 am and you are not getting up to play Wii." He turned and went back to his bed, mad because he did want to get up to play Wii. He was still awake when Vince left for Soldotna at 5.30. When I came downstairs at 6.15, he was dressed and ready for school and downstairs playing Wii.


The years roll by...


We have tried to have outdoor birthday parties for him several times. Each attempt has been met with sunshine, but bitter cold. The beginning of May is a cold time of year here. It can be so deceptive. One year we had a fabulous party planned at the park. We organized games, the sun was shining, Irene made a fabulous treasure hunt with clever poems and maps with burned edges. We spent the entire time trying to keep ourselves and the kids warm, (even though the sun was shining). The park was so muddy, people kept getting stuck in the deep mud. After that I said, "No More! I don't care if I have to have a standing reservation at the pool, I won't go through that again."


Saturday we held his annual pool party. (This was a challenge for me as I was still feeling punk from my accident. ) Vince took care of nearly everything and what he could not do friends helped with. Falcom is fortunate to have many good friends. In a strange turn, it was an unusually hot day. I had to thank everyone for stopping whatever they were doing to come inside. I felt like the anti-Alaskan for bringing the kids indoors. Ah!Laska, you can never make your plans around the weather.


Loyal readers may not realize that of all the pictures and posts I have put on this blog over the past year the picture of last years 'horse party' cake has gotten more hits and any other. This year standing up to frost a cake creation was out of the question for me. I was disappointed as I enjoy the mechanics of cake creation. Falcom was disappointed for a nano second as he wanted a Princess Peach cake. Then he looked at me and said, "No problem mom." and was happy with all the cupcakes dad made him.


We were able to have cake and ice cream outside in the sun after swimming. It was wonderful.


After the party, Goddess Irene had the kids over to her house for a sleepover. Having an overnight was one of Falcom's birthday wishes, but in my state of gimpness and exhaustion it was out of the question. She swept up both children and gave me a night off and I was in my bed asleep by 8.30.


The next morning Hannah Grady called and she wanted to take Fal to the movie for his birthday, and so, in that strangely hot Alaskan sun, she picked up the kids from church, played around with them, took them to the movie, and then brought them home in time for a quick dinner, a little TV and a reasonable bedtime.

Yesterday, (Monday) was Falcom's actual birthday. Vince and I took cupcakes to school. We made Falcom's favorite meal and had all of our friends over to eat. It was mellow after the events of the entire weekend. It was a nice time. As you may have guessed, we have a new Wii game, some new kites, and lots of love. He is completely birthday saturated and content and happy. Now, if only it were ok for him to wake up at 4am to play Wii

Happy Birthday Falcom. We were blessed with you!