My Special Day

A reflective photo for a reflective post

Today is my special day. All this means is that 16 years ago today was the day I stopped drinking alcohol.

In the early years of having a special day I made them into an event. I am sure you can all imagine what I am capable of in terms of self adoration! It has now been a couple of years since I've even noticed the day or even remembered that I have a special day. So why am I remembering today?

It may have to do with the year we've been having and how this year has been incredibly stressful on me. Of all these past 16 years this has been the one year that I actually considered drinking. Let's recap;

Friends dying of cancer, IEPs, Vince changing jobs and being gone a lot, 40th birthday, everyone going to school, cold grey summer (not to be confused with a 'long hot summer'), divorces, politics, mental health scares, economic downturns hitting close to home, murderous rampages at the work place, the passing of loved ones, moose wrecks, dead pets...

Whow...let's take a break from that and talk about something happy...Marina and I had lunch yesterday while I was helping prepare the kids for next weeks "McNeil Canyon Talent Show"! This is Marina eating blood-orange. Marina took pictures of the acts. Sorry, most pictures were too dark to post. I have really enjoyed my time working with the kids.

The other night at the movie a friend asked me if I was so positive all the time or just in the blog? I asked her if she had ever read the secret code words in the blog to get the true feeling for how things were going around here. "Secret Code Words?" She said.

I have decided that I had better make a list of the secret code words so that people do not confuse me as having a Pollyanna existence.

1. Jail time averted. This means that my kids were driving me so nuts that I almost was turned over to the office of children's services. Always a joke (Thank God, but shows that I can loose my cool at these delightful young people.
2. Where is my oxygen mask? This sentence has come to replace me pretending to take a pull from a cigarette of drink from a bottle when the kids are totally driving me nuts. I usually say this when helping with homework.
3. Vince is happy at his new job. Usually, this means that I am not thrilled that Vince is away from home. Yesterday I did the math and in the last two months we have only had 30% of our evenings together. Part of this is because of my trip. I take part of the blame. But, even if I factor out my trip, we would only be ranging in the high 50% range.
4. Beautiful Sunrise Today. This means, "Look at this beautiful sunrise as an attempt to forget that it is at 10 am and it is DARK. We are all seasonally affected, even those who say they are not, and it is cold and it sucks to have to live in Alaska year round."
5. Dreamed of Sailing. In my sailing fantasy I am on a boat with my family and we are all at sea. We are alone and self contained. It is quiet. There are no interruptions from the outside world. We are all together and no one can wander too far away. Education, work, social pressures: Nothing matters as long as we have a wind and the ability to tie a knot! I always have this fantasy until I remember the book "Maiden Voyage" and how she documents so clearly the mood of transpacific voyages and how her tweezers became her best friend (yes, she plucked her leg hairs...that's how much time she had on her hands!)

OK, yea, I am mostly positive in life. I admit it.

Sixteen years. Ah... I am sure that tomorrows posting will be filled with beautiful pictures of things, as it is morning still, and today is MY special day and I will be filling it with beauty and fun and friends and magic...

Thanks to each one of you who has supported and loved me. It has been a really great life so far.