My First Exam

As if the sound of a fly buzzing was not distracting enough... Check out this sunrise! How will I manage?

National Anthem

I know that there is a level of anxiety for parents regardless of what activity the child participates in.  Right now, I am voting that being the parent of a performing artist may be the most anxiety producing.  The National Anthem?  That is harder than Lady Gaga.  Sorry Lady Gaga but that song is harder than Bad Romance. 

Well, lets just say that all your prayers, thoughts, and positive energy transference payed off because he pulled it off!  Again.  Just like he does every time.  After he was done, I was walking around the rink and I saw quite a few of Suzanne's students from Selo.  "That is your son!  I've been hearing this song a lot and your son has done the best so far I think!"  Whether or not they were telling me this to be nice or whether they really meant it, I didn't care!  He finished and he did great and now we can move on to the next thing.

What has it been like to be a person in this house while the National Anthem was being learned (morning, noon, and night)?  Let me put it this way, that song used to pull at a deep part of my emotional core and bring me to tears every time.  After the past two weeks I am completely desensitized.  I'm now like a paramedic at a crash site.  "Yes, something has happened.  Let's work through the details."

Thank you to everyone who supports this untradional traditional family!  Your presence is felt!

Willie Turns 18

It is hard to imagine that I could have an 18 year old under roof.  It is hard to imagine that this boy who I have loved so dearly for all these years could actually be an 18 year old.  This boy who climbed over the car seat wide eyed the first time we went through the drive through at McDonald's to see where that voice was coming from.  This boy who was blown away the first time he saw an ATM machine, "Wow!  I need to get my mom one of those cards!  Then she doesn't have to worry anymore, nae!"  This miraculously open hearted boy.  Miraculous in that most people, having been through what he has been through, would have a cold and angry heart.

Not Willie.

To this day I see that sparkle in his eye.  I see that excitement that I saw when he was a boy. 

For his birthday this year, Willie wanted to have a bowling party. 

We reserved several lanes and had a great time refreshing our muscular memory to the wonder of hurtling an eight pound ball down the lane.  We ate pizza and chips and drank soda.  It was a fun time.  The next day I was talking to Mema about how weird it is to have one butt cheek in pain.

Everybody Gets in On The Bowling Action!

See, kids even focus on technology when
they are hanging out together!

Even little kids love texting!



Iris Loved Bowling





Iris and Marina know how to bowl strikes!  Iris got a higher score than I did!  Is that a cheese puff in her mouth?



The next day Kaylene and the girls organized a party for him at school.  I brought pizzas and sodas and she brought cake and gifts.  Friends filled the commons at school and they all had a great time. 

Somewhere on Facebook there are photographs of this event, I am quite sure!

That night we made all of his favorite food and had a lovely big meal of sushi and shrimp, broccoli beef and rice.  Because he was all caked up from lunch, we blew out the candles on the pie! 

Look at Iris's little hand going for the pie her mommy made.

Willie requested that Marina sing for him the first song she ever wrote.  This is the abridged version.

Mema cleaned and organized and redecorated Willie's space for his birthday.  She was deemed a hero and a fantastic Mema for that!

He opened his presents, he ate pie and we all sang Happy Birthday.

The older we get the less birthday parties pack the punch that they do when you are 7 or 11.  But for the parents who are watching, the boy may as well be 7 again. 

We love you Willie!

School

Just a quick update.  This is me on my first day of school.  I'm not nearly as cute on my first day of school as my children.  Everything is going well.  I walked into my biology class and I was going to sit in the back (you know, back to the wall and eyes on the room) but instead said, "I supposed I should make this more like church!" and plopped myself right up front.  I did notice that I was far less distracted and I did not pay attention to any ones breathing.  I was paying too close attention to how fast the professor talks.  This was complicated by her mentioning that she has a habit of speaking to fast.  (fortunately I have a pen which can slow her down on replay!)  I would also like to brag that at 9.30 last night I was able to understand cohesive bonds by reading!  I know right?

Sunrise from my house

Today is my "last first day" and that is my human development class.  Wish me luck!

Resolutions - Big Changes are Underfoot!

Resolutions are a powerful tool if done properly.  As a woman with an attention deficit issue, I make daily resolutions.  Usually the first is to take less time pondering the meaning of my dreams and to get out of bed, the second is to consider my identity...  but that is not what a New Years Resolution is about. 

As you read this post, try to keep this old saying in mind:  A ship in harbor is safe-but that's not what ships are made for.   -John Shedd

There are a lot of changes in store for our family this year.  Most of these changes are of my doing.  drum roll   I have decided that the next step in my ongoing 'Karma Reduction' program is to return to school.

Why, you ask, would this be listed under 'Karma Reduction'? 

I know that you kind readers out there think of me as this put together person with a productive life, happy marriage, thriving family...but alas...it was not always this way.  Unfortunately, when the scaffolding of my childhood life was removed and I was shoved out the door and into the abyss of my undeveloped frontal lobe, I managed to create a folder of unbelievably outrageous and wonderful (and the occasionally horrific) memories that have forged the Alana that is the woman I am today.

 

Unfortunately, during those boisterous years I did not create the kind of transcript which would allow me to easily transfer from one professional career to another.  Oh sure, it would allow me to move from School Bus Driver to FedEx Courier, or Temporary Transcriptions to Typist.  It would open many doors to jobs that seem to think of 'college degree' as the only requirement, like teaching English in Japan. 

The truth is that for years I have held the belief that I am not that clever or there would not have been quite so many "Acedemic Probation" stamps on my transcripts. 

It did not occur to me until recently that school is much like house keeping and that a new attitude would make it like the meditation that it is.  The successful application of the meditation would provide a steady success and this success will allow me to not sit in the nursing home some day pondering my knuckle head status of those years long gone by.

I am more than a bit concerned about how this excursion is going to go.  I can't help but wonder if I am going to have as much trouble paying attention to my professors as I used to.  I wonder if I am going to hear the breathing of each of my classmates as I take notes.  I can hear the chorus now:  "Alana, you are not that same person!  You are an adult now.  You are motivated and have a purpose for going there."

You are all correct, however, the essence of Alana is still present and I need to be able to embrace that.  This truth is going to set me free.

Therefore, the resolutions I have put forth are all revolving around the use of aids to create an organized mental space. 

My Very Cute Santa Baby bought me this for Christmas.  Not only does it allow me to Skype with video and retire my 'crack-berry', but I am able to use helpful apps like this one- 

This is called the Motivated Mom and it tells me what to clean each day.  So far I've been on it for a week and in under an hour my house is very livable and cleaner than it was the day before.  Some one said to me, "You need an app to tell you that your laundry needs to be washed?  I mean really, you don't notice it?"  Instead of saying, "Unlike you, my life is far to creative to notice things like laundry."  I just said, "No."

This app called 2do is helping me keep my classes, my Brownie troop, and my family and our activities plugging along smoothly.  I can use it to record my audio notes if I don't have time to type them in.

This app from Weight Watchers is invaluable for helping me keep up a healthy eating program.  Because my ITouch has wi-fi and the whole world has wi-fi beaming into it, I can calculate points values while in the grocery store without looking like a big dork.  Very handy.

I think though that this might be the tool that actually allows me to cope with the breathing that I focus on around me in class.  It is the Live Scribe and I think it may be invaluable since I will be fighting the urge to dream of the drama gong on in each of my classmates lives instead of cell structures and psych relationships.

Oh!  Exciting changes are underfoot!  I have been meditating on the idea that I may actually enjoy being a student again and actually succeed at it.  It's a crazy, far fetched idea, but one that I think I am ready to embrace. 

Wish me well as I steer my ship out of the harbor!