Hi!

Yea, it's been about a week since I've been able to write you. Suzanne said to me yesterday, "I care, you have to share!" So true, I've been too busy to share and now I am emotionally constipated! Yuck! Can't have that! And so I will write a quick letter to my dear friends and post it on this blog. This is Resihna, her first time in boots! I had to help her get them on!

Hey!

My God! I can not believe that I have survived another self imposed, over planned week! I'm not whining or complaining. I chose every single event which took place. I packed the days full. I allowed myself to be completely wrung emotionally all at once.

I did this.

Well, Falcom and I did this.

Maygen was right that Falcom should try out for the Jubilee. She was right that he needed to get back on that horse. Watching him in that setting is amazing. He is completely natural at performing and he loves it.

His performing causes me to have to feel a great deal of anticipation and anxiety. I think this is like any mother and their child. "Will he remember the lines?" "Will he be off key?" "Will his pants be unzipped?" You know, it's like the basics.

Resihna arrived Thursday afternoon. Seeing her in pants and sneakers was hilareous for me. I've never seen her in anything but slippers and sandels. She was thrilled to be with Falcom and he was happy she was here.

I couldn't help but be aware of the attention the three of us were recieving all weekend. Being from a conservative state like Alaska I thought that this would not be such a big deal. I mean look at the big pro-life Sarah Palin. Look at our big pro-life swinging legislature. Then look at the freakout that these same people have when you bring a birth mother over for the weekend.

More than one person admitted to me that "they could not do it." They could not share their child with another woman. Well, here is a news flash for those of you who havn't figured it out already: You want women to stop having abortions you are going to have to loosen up the way you imagine a family to be. You will have to stop passing judgement and start getting creative.

I don't mean this for the people who were honest with me. I mean this for the people who were thinking it, but couldn't say it out loud. I applaud the people who could talk to me about their feelings. Thank you for your honesty.

Was the weekend with Resihna easy? In some ways yes. It was easy for me to watch Falcom and her together. It was great watching his eyes light up when he introduced her as his "original mom". In some ways no.

It was a great reminder that the Easy Way and the Right Way are rarely the same path.

Falcom was fantastic in his show! His voice was lovely and he responds amazingly to the feedback from the crowd. Maygen and I both noticed that he started to really cut loose a couple times but he definitly held it back. He doesn't want to get kicked out of the show again.

Resihna was reminded of how she loved to perform when she was a young girl. I was proud of them all.
The next day I was working for Stone Soup Group at the Safe Kids fair. Marina helped teach about 40 young people Seizure first aid. I was so proud. Vince and Falcom took Resihna to the cabin where she rode a snow machine and shot a gun for the first time. She loved it!

That night we had many of our friends over for dinner. It was a funny gathering and we all laughed and enjoyed ourselves.Did I mention it was also my birthday?

No, it didn't feel like much of a birthday. That is OK with me. I really feel like watching the family grow emotionally was the best gift I could get.

Reshina's Here!

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Jubilee Rehersal, Part 1

And so, my own version of hockey season is upon me. Yesterday, we were at rehearsal from 330 in the afternoon to 745 at night. Falcom is number 6 in the line up, in the first act. The last time he was in a show he was the closing act. Everyone in town made a huge deal about what an honor it is to be last. I asked Fal if this was OK for him to be sixth and he said, "Yea! I'm just so happy to be in the show!"He is a darling.

I did a kind of lousy job recording this. I left off the beginning and the end, but I think you get the idea. The director came to me when he was done and told me how beautiful his voice is and how nice it is to hear him singing an appropriate song this year. It's true. There will not be a pissed off fundamentalist in town this year!

As his mother, I can say with great certainty that the audience wishes they could hear him sing something inappropriate.

The Alaskan Mystique, part 1

Spring fun in Alaska.While dad skins his rabbits in the background, the children practice kayaking skills in the front yard pool.

He's In!

To his elation, Falcom will be a member of Jubilee! this year.

This week will be very eventful not only because of the show, but because his birth mother Resihna will be here to watch him perform.

Very exciting week lies ahead. Stay posted.

Jubilee Auditions

Falcom has picked a restrained song to try out with this year. I didn't photograph any of it because I didn't want to jinx it.

His voice was lovely; on key, not flat or sharp. If he doesn't get accepted it won't be because of him.

He did great and he is now so excited! I'll keep you posted.
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Arg! April...

There are places on this planet where April is a beautiful reflection of our spiritual rebirth.

The plants are extending themselves from the earth. Little birds are bouncing around. Children are on bicycles.

I remember as a child standing on the playground behind my elementary school holding the ends of my jacket up over my head to make a sail, and letting the April winds push me across the field. I was acutely aware that it was April because my birthday was coming soon and that meant gifts and a party.

Now I am aware that we are in April because it is still snowing. It is snowing on top of the mud. Today I can not see even a hint of the bay out our windows.

I can also tell it is April because our family life is ramping up to match the extended daylight hours. Easter, Vince's birthday, the talent show. Preparations for DeeJay's graduation. Jubilee tryouts. Karate testing. Stone Soup Group activities.

What has been happening this past week in the Greear Family?

We had a large and lovely Easter dinner. The house was full and felt warm. The kids (including Iris) had a blast hunting eggs and going on Mema's special Easter treasure hunt that she sends them on.

Maygen convinced Falcom to get back on the horse and try out for the Jubilee show again. He embraced her recommendation.

I'm not sure I am embracing it, but with Maygen's help I am feeling the necessary 'two degrees of separation' that I need in order for me not to feel the full excitement/anxiety/thrill that my son goes through in his performing life. The life of a performer is no simple life.

Stone Soup Group put on a lovely Epilepsy seminar in Homer that was well attended and informational.

I've been doing nails a couple days a week. I enjoy it...kind of. I'm learning something about myself and my work life that I had never considered before. When I am doing nails people are walking out of the shop with work I have done. They are going to have to look at it every day. When I am advocating or teaching and standing in front of a large group... it's just different. Jerami thinks it's the scrutiny factor. I'm not sure it's that. Teachers are constantly scrutinized and lasts longer than a week or two. While I'm doing nails today I'll think of ways to verbalize it better.

The glorious Mindy H had a birthday this past week and threw a wild girlfriend dinner party to celebrate at Wasabi. It was wild. There was laughing and drinking and the occasional cuss word. We laughed and talked and had a great time.

Sorry Mindy, all the photos I have of you are 'post-mojuito'. Can't have an unpleasant picture of your goddess self on-line!

Jerami came and told me "This is wonderful and remarkable! You women have been able to maintain your friendships even though you all are so diverse. I can feel how much you care for each other." I thought that was a wonderful compliment.

One of the great things to come out of the evening is that I finally learned how to be middle aged and not have to go to Thailand for plastic surgery to take a decent self-portrait. Suzanne also realized the technique also helps our cleavages.

One of the not so great lessons I learned from the evening that a bottle of sparkling water at Wasabi is $9. Oh yea. No joke. What? Are we in Manhattan? I thought I was going to puke!


Vince has been doing some rabbit hunting around the house with the boys. (No, he is the only one holding the gun.) They have gotten a couple and all of them have been having a great time stalking them and ferreting them out. We are having an over abundance of rabbits this year and so there has been a lot hopping around our house. (Yes, everyone is enjoying eating them!)

There are so many rabbits around the house that the eagles have been hanging out. Having eagles around is great for the stereotypical Alaskan experience, but is not good for our little farm or for other wildlife (like the sandhill cranes and their babies that will be here soon). Thus, culling the rabbit population will encourage the eagles to move on.

Although I will say that I have been able to snap some great pictures...

Keep Falcom in your hearts tonight as we give this Jubilee business another go.

Dinner with Valda

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Easter Weekend (Vince's Birthday, Talent Show, Egg Hunt, et al)

I am trying so hard to up date this blog and it is just not working!

Here is a weekend mash-up of the things that happened!

Dying Easter Eggs

Last night we dyed our Easter Eggs. Bring on the gallon of vinegar and food dye!

We played music and talked. It was a wonderfully creative night.