Willie is now a proud employee of McDonald's of Alaska. I know, I know, I know what you are thinking; "Ew...McDonald's? He is going to come home every night smelling like a french fry." I know. But this job has a few wonderful aspects to it that can not be overlooked.
They were hiring. The recession has hit Homer Alaska and jobs that normally would be open and begging for help are not spending their money on additional employees now. In fact, DeeJay has been called off at Fritz Creek Garden until work picks back up and on the Spit the fish packers are running full crews (that never happens).
Willie is my most anxious son and needed a real job application to fill out and a real job interview to succeed at to build his bank of self confidence. Last summer he worked at the garden because DeeJay got him a job there. He is smart and doesn't really think of that as something he did for himself.
After his first day at work I told him, "I am so proud of you, you did this all on your own." He said, "No I didn't Mom, you told me to go there. You drove me there." I said, "You filled out the application. You spoke up at the interview. You made this happen." He thought about it for a minute and then got a huge smile on his face. On that same self confidence building note: at McDonald's, Willie has the opportunity to look great in comparison to.... OK, you get my drift.
We all started out at 'awful' jobs. They serve a valuable role in helping us aim higher. If your parent never said to you, "You want to work at McDonald's the rest of your life?" You missed out on an important life lesson, that's for sure.
Congratulations Willie! I'll take a diet coke with that Big Mac and Fries, please.
Tom sleeping in the recliner while waiting for flight time. (Vince pretending to sleep).
We are back to calm (-ish) here in the Greear Family. Phyllis and Tom left on a flight out of Homer last night at 10.30. Now, today we are having calm to regroup ourselves while our extended family starts to get back into their routine.
There are so many things I could say here about everything... but won't.
Vince asked for a picture with his family before they left, but was feeling uncooperative when the camera finally came out. It is hard to herd four squirrely children. It is hard to get Grandpa out of his chair. It is hard to get everyone to smile simultaneously. It is hard to not put rabbit ears above someones head. I love watching Vince's expression change as he tries to get anyone to cooperate with anything he says. At least we got Grandpa to move a little closer to us once he woke from his after dinner slumber. United Airlines as called several times today to let us know that Tom's flights have been changed. It is really too bad Vince and I arn't there to help with that...
We are having quite a week around here. We have been blessed with a visit from Grandpa Tom, Vince's Dad and Phyllis's brother, who came up to stay with her and accompany her back to Cleveland. Grandpa Tom has been educating Marina on many of the things that her inability to read a newspaper and television free lifestyle have deprived her of. For instance, the chimpanzee that ripped the ladies face off. How intriguing to a 6 year old! How has she managed until now without this information? The poor taxpayers of Cleveland having to pay for THAT! There is so much more to education than sitting in a classroom.
Unlike most people who travel great distances to arrive in Alaska, they have no desire to do anything but sit and look out the window. This doesn't surprise me really, after all Phyllis has been through these past couple of months. This flower bouquet arrived on Thursday from Vince's brother Tommy. It had been a week since Chuck's Memorial and really touched Phyllis's heart. (Notice Tom in the background reading the paper.)
All this non action is making Vince a little stir crazy because the sun has been out...and hot!...and we have not been fishing or camping or hiking. I will say that Vince is really showing how he has grown up and has not complained a bit. Having the four wheeler has helped his active heart and he has found many uses for it this week. This includes taking Falcom on a long early morning adventure. When Falcom was a very small boy and I was pregnant with Marina they used to take long hikes to 'the spooky forest' which was a forested lot down the street from us on Rangeview Ave. Both father and son were happy when they returned. Picture courtesy of Valda, taken on one of Vince's project excursions. On the Fourth of July we decided to forgo the American Legion Kid Carnival. I mean really, how can a 10 year old still enjoy that fishing game? Or a 16 year old enjoy that putting game? I told them I would give them $2 each if they would not complain that we were not at that annual '$50 out of Mom's wallet for a pocket full of cheap plastic objects and penny candy' event. They were happy to agree and I saved $44.
Instead, we went to Cindi and Paul's house in Ninilchik for a bar-be-que. Paul's family is also from West Virgina and here for a visit. Vince, with a little too much time on his hands, decided to learn how to deep fry a turkey. Yes, the turkey tasted fantastic! I, after participating in yet another day of over the top gluttony, decided it was time to get back to the WW.
Mema and I came back to town
early with Cindi, Carri, and Mike M. to participate in the parade. Irene, Mema, Carri, and I walked with the PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Gays and Lesbians) group and Cindi and Mike walked with the Red Hot Mama's. (Everyone asked where the kids were. I tried to explain how I was elated for them not to have a grocery bag full of candy. They understood.)
It is interesting to me how, when I decided to support PFLAG in the parade, I didn't think much of it. I mean really, what is the big deal? I've marched in this parade a half dozen times. But then, when I walked out onto Pioneer Avenue, in such a small town parade, where I knew at least a third of the people watching the festivities, I caught the smallest glimpse of what it is like to come out of the closet as an openly gay or lesbian person in rural America. There were sections of the parade route that were cheering wildly for us, and parts of the parade route that were silent in Fundamentalist Christian surprise that the gays were walking down the road together. I mean really, first Palin resigns out of no where and now this! But then, the shock on their faces to see Irene and Me and my Mom, three notoriously straight family women! That was kind of funny. To find out more information about PFLAG you can click on http://www.pflag.org/
As parade marchers, Irene and I had a good laugh at the irony of a woman selling pit bull dog puppies at an event filled with screaming, hyper on candy, children. We also saw the irony of some poor person in an ambulance who had to get through the parade to get to the hospital, the swollen Homer streets full of onlookers thinking it was just another emergency vehicle in the parade. Sunday found the family back at the house blistering under a hot sun. I did two loads of wash and hung them from our deck lines for everyone on the road to see. Phyllis and I laughed at the thought of our grandmother's turning in their graves at the thought of our personal items hanging for the world to see. She really laughed when I told her I had now officially turned our home into the hillbilly palace it was meant to be.
After a while, the kids approached us about taking them somewhere they could swim in cold water. They were sweating for heavens sake. (When does this happen? Certainly not in their living memory.) I suggested a trip to the beach when Falcom said, "What about the lake that is right there." pointing to our neighbors house. Great thinking! After a phone call and a friendly invitation, we were off walking down the road to Gabi and Konrad's house for a dip in their newly expanded lake.
Readers living outside Alaska may not realize how unusual it is to have a lake in our area that a person could actually swim in without dying of hypothermia. This lake is relatively shallow and not shaded. It is refreshing without being cold. Just what a lake should be! What a terrific place! There were dragon flys and lilly pads and frogs. Sandhill cranes stood on the far bank wondering what was going on in their usually peaceful home.
The kids then spent 4 hours playing in that lake. I roasted in the sun and now have a juicy sunburn (which I am loving! as this has not happened to me in a few years). After chatting with me for an hour or so, Gabi invited us up to her place for a slice of Swiss strudel when the kids were done swimming. How beautiful! Her place is such a gorgeous haven! I could not wait to go up and have a delightful treat. I also could not extract these children out of the water! Two hours after that Vince showed up and got in the lake with the kids while Gabi brought the strudel to us.
Swimming in this lake has been the one of our best days of summer so far. Thank you Gabi and Konrad for sharing your garden with us!
Vince got the kids to come out of the water (after another hour) and to come home so that we could then go to Glenn's for dinner. We had a wonderful visit with the Radeke's and their extended family who are here for the summer. (I forgot my camera)
Now, Monday morning, Vince is forcing the family to go out to the Spit with him to see the sights. Falcom is sick and sleeping on the bedroom floor while I eek out the time to do this blogging.
The Greear Clan returns to Cleveland on Wednesday, I return to Weight Watchers tonight!
I have been getting requests to reinstate this blog feature, Regular Tuesdays with Irene. Trust me when I say that we still get together weekly. It is more difficult now with the kids out of school, and around us constantly, to be able to chat the way we like to. Yesterday, we made a solid effort to get back to basics.
First I made her sit South East Asian style on her deck in the bright hot sun. This was no easy feat as she kept attempting to change my setting. I have learned after all these years that if you sit in the lawn before noon you will get cold. No, it doesn't matter if you sit on a blanket. If you sit in a plastic lawn chair not only do you stay a bit chilled, you are also uncomfortable.
We sat on our butts on the deck, leaning against the south facing wall of her house, directly in the hot sun and for the first time in months, she looked over at me and said, "You are right. This feels great." As we sat and chatted layers of clothing were slowly stripped away until we were perched there in nothing but our bras. No, I did not photograph that.
What were the children doing all that time? When participating in slacker mom style parenting it's better to not know.
Topics Discussed
Phyllis and Tom (Vince's Dad) are at our house with us. Tom got in this morning. In the first five minutes of his being here Phyllis asked him if he had gotten his bed fixed (back in Cleveland) and so I had to ask about this bed. "Listen," he said in his perfect Tom way, "This is THE MOST fantastic bed I've ever seen. I've turned my living room into a master bedroom. The headboard of this bed reaches up to the ceiling and well, it takes up the whole wall. It is mirrors and there are lights, not bright ugly lights, but purple lavender lights going all along it. They are motion activated and it has a built in stereo system. I also put in the mirrored foot board. I love that bed so much I bought three. One for each bedroom." Vince was laying back in the recliner trying to detach from his body so he would not have to create a visual image of his dad in that bed. I was trying to enjoy the surreal humor of the scene without seeming rude. This is a difficult undertaking.
JG is moving to Arizona. She is transferring her job and getting out of here before the winter comes. Her husband will fly down to see her on his weeks off. She picked out her new apartment by herself. It has two pools, exercise room, close to work. In a sunny location! Irene and I decided we were going to have to have a 'You Go Girl' party for her. We also decided we were going to have to feed her husband when he is in town taking care of business.
The kids and I saw a black bear next to Karen's friend Angie's house on our way to Irene's today. I tried to take a good picture but when it heard the twang of the camera being turned on it ran. Can't seem to get my computer to edit the picture or you would see the little cute fella right here).
How I got the coolest video from my friend Anna who lives in Oakland. This video is all edited and pasted together and beautiful. I was mind blown because I got this video from Anna the day after I read to my friends an essay I wrote about my early womanhood and Anna made a montage of this period of my life for me (yes, photo illustrations!). Irene and I were both mind blown. Irene lived in a basement apartment on the SAME STREET as Anna when she met Matt way back in the day. Maybe a block or two away. Yes, Irene remembers the Ashram and the Muslim Bakery. After watching the video and hearing about Anna's view of her neighborhood, we also discussed Irene's life there. We were both blown away by having yet another similar life path coincidence. I am sure that Anna is reading this and is blown away herself.
Irene's response to the beginning of the video, "Ha! Of your 7 addictions at 20, you are still addicted to 4! Ha! Mayo!" I was biting into my standard salami sandwich with tons of mayo (and not that nasty soy mayo) as she said that.
How Irene and I can safely say now, with this documentation from Anna, that throughout my entire adult life, I have been surrounded by extremely good looking and intelligent people. This sentiment was punctuated by Matt coming home for lunch. Let it be noted that he was looking extremely good.
Baseball is officially over! No more racing to town for games and practices.
Suzanne birthday party recap. Freaking amazing. What a bunch of talented friends we have! Will the young Russian girls ever be the same with the new skills they have learned? Hard to say.
Things we can't blog about.
Hermit crabs do die. And stink.
Irene's nurse bought her a book called Porn for Women of a Certain Age. Her favorite page was a man at a desk with his calendar out. The caption said, "I know the fish are running, but we've been planning this trip to the garden show for months now and we just can't miss it!" Irene thought that it was as if the publisher of that book watched Vince take me to the iris fields.
Irene's trip to Fairbanks in August for Matt's mom's 70th birthday. Yes, there is also a train ride and a hocky camp involved.
How Irene enjoys digging up dandelions. Why? The Zen meditation of it.
Falcom wanted a haircut and instead of trying to find an open barber on a Monday morning, taking the chance that he would change his mind, Vince took the clippers and gave Fal a haircut. He looks great!
And then, after watching the girls swim naked in the dipping pool and the boys ride their bikes in the sun for a while, I figured we'd better get on with the obligations of our family life.
Thank you Harold, You are the best! Kumar (Just me and Irene's inside joke)
Once again Vince proved himself to be an exceptional husband. Yesterday, I asked him if he would load up his new 4-wheeler and take me to our old house at the 'Red Meat Farm' so that we could go through the old cow pastures and down to the wild area above the bay so that we could pick iris. Without hesitation, he loaded up the wheeler and drove me the 4 miles to where the iris grow.
Iris don't grow just everywhere. They like a swampy open area with plenty of sun. They don't grow down on our forested hillsides. I used to try to go every year to pick them.
The last time I picked them was two years ago. Valda, the kids, Maygen and I hiked down to the iris fields. The cows are gone from the meadows and the hay grass has grown up five feet. I am allergic to this grass and by the time I got down to the picking area my eyes had swollen shut. We only got to pick for a few minutes before I had to run back to the car. I could not drive home my eyes were swollen shut. I haven't been back since.
I thought that this year would be different. With Vince driving me on his 4 wheeler and it being earlier in the year I thought that I'd have a chance.
We drove down the farm past the pole barns where the cows and owls lives. The mosquitoes are thick in that wet environment, but we planned ahead and wore our hooded jackets. We rode down the old cow road where Vince, Falcom, and I cut our first Christmas tree together 8 years ago. The memory of it rushed right back to me. It was a picturesque hike at the beginning. Very Norman Rockwell. We pulled Falcom in a sled that half mile down hill. It was beautiful in the pastures with the mountains in the background and everything covered in fresh snow. We hacksawed down a small spruce tree. Then the wind picked up and we slogged back uphill with the tree and the kid feeling an awful lot like the Donner Party. We have an artificial tree now.
Having Vince load up his wheeler and take me to the fields were so worth it! The iris were beautiful, growing up in the meadows. From where we stood on the old cow road we could peek through the spruce trees and see the blue speckled meadows beyond that the iris were thick in.
We didn't have to suffer through slogging through the muck. We were happy with the iris growing on the old cow road. We laughed at a memory of Scratch and I hiking together down there years ago. He and I had just turned the corner on that old cow road and about 50 yards ahead was a coyote. Scratch and that coyote made direct eye contact for about 5 seconds and Scratch was off. He chased that coyote through the bush and I'm sure caught her because Woody and I heard a yelp.
Four-wheelering down through the cow pasture was far superior to walking. It is not as loud as the snow machines and so I to hold onto him and chat with him while we meandered down the pasture. We didn't trip in the cow ruts and my allergies were kept at bay. We saw birds that we don't get to see at our place. We saw a spruce tree that we thought was covered in surveyors tape; it had pink weaving through it in such a way it looked like a Christmas tree. Upon closer examination the pink was actually rose blossoms from a vine that had entwined itself through the spruce. Beautiful!
Vince and I fought back the mosquitoes and picked several dozen flowers. He loaded the flowers and me back on the machine and we wheelered back up to the car.
By the time we got out of the pasture, a 10 minute ride, my eyes were swollen and my breathing was difficult. OY! Thank heaven for that wheeler. At the truck we found a yearling bull moose munching on alder leaves. The swelling in my eyes went down. My mosquito bites were minimal and my house is flooded with iris.
Our trip to Seward was filled with beautiful sights. Allow me to outline them here:
10 bald eagles dancing in the air currents above the Ninilchick bluffs.
The lupins abloom along the roadsides.
The green mountains souring up above the swarms of fisherman standing in the Russian River.
The look on the young hitchhikers face when we explained to her that we were playing Ipod Roulette and that it was Marina's turn to pick the song and that Marina picked will.i.am's "Big and Chunky" and we all broke out in song, 'I like 'um big, I like 'um chunky'.
The hitchhiker saying, "This is the coolest family I've seen!" when we dropped her at her stop.
Falcom sang a beautiful rendition of "Will the Circle Be Unbroken" at the 'celebration'. Watch video below.
As a Religious Studies student, I thought Celebration of Life was a fabulous term. Of course, I felt this way during the years of my development when a young persons death was often seen by that person's peers as a gift, ala Billy Joel's, "Only the Good Die Young" or by grand children after watching a grand parent deteriorate to the point where the passing was a relief. These were also the years in my development where I didn't actually know anyone who had suffered and then died.
Now that I am firmly planted in middle age and I have had to witness the passing of several of my friends, each of whom had a 'Celebration of Life'. Because of this, I have had the opportunity to look more closely at this term.
Celebration of Life
Celebrate Life? Why do people fool themselves into thinking that their memorial services can be light hearted, happy events where people can have a few drinks and a laugh and leave feeling light hearted and gleeful about life on this planet? I'm not saying that memorials can not or should not be filled with laughs and love and liquor. In fact, I know that if I were to pass and have a memorial my friends would all come in drag and tell stories from my sordid past and the crowd would roar. I mean, I was a mall cop for God's sake, how could no one see the humor in that?
I simply feel that planning one of these events, calling it a Celebration of Life, and having the expectation that all mournful feelings should be compartmentalized, really misses the point. Can we say that we have had any impact to life on this planet if people can leave our memorial without shedding a tear? Shouldn't we leave the event feeling light hearted because we have shed our tears collectively?
I think my inner Buddhist would be happier if we referred to these events as 'A Validation of Life'. Once again I refer to the Four Noble Truths, Number One: Life is Suffering
We watched as brain cancer took over Chuck's body. We are relieved that he is no longer in pain and the suffering can end. We take great comfort in our faith that he has moved on to a better place. We spent time yesterday examining this point and are taking comfort in this fact. People brought wonderful food to share. The bar was full of friendly faces coming to share our shock and grief and offer us their condolences.
No, Chuck would not have wanted us to be sad. He would not have wanted us to spend the afternoon crying. Neither would Scott, or Kim, or Kelly... But guess what? Every child should learn what the Rolling Stones sang, "You can't always get what you want."
What about Phyllis's suffering without her son? What about Rick's suffering without his brother? Falcom and Marina have lost out on a family member who fully, unwaveringly, supported them for who they are. Who even on his death bed told Fal, "Stay true to who you are! Don't let them bring you down!" How often do we get that person in our lives? And Linda, where will her life lead her now that in the past 6 years she has buried her son, her first husband and now her second?
Don't misunderstand me. I do not feel that life is something that we endure before we pass to the next life. I have thoroughly relished this incarnation...it's good and it's bad. I take great joy in the memories of my family and friends who have gone to the next plane before me. When I think of my Grandmother stemming strawberries in her kitchen, wielding that paring knife at my Grandfather, saying, "I could kill him!" I laugh! I totally get where she was coming from, I see myself in her and I love her.
I love her! I laugh at the memory of her! AND I cry at the memory of how much I miss her.
My mother told me that when her mother died of cancer (she was a girl about the age Falcom is now when that happened) everyone came to her and said, "She's in such a better place." and my mom just wanted to scream, "A BETTER PLACE FOR WHO?". Chuck didn't want to go. He wasn't done with everything he wanted to do, and I think Phyllis would rather scream today than laugh and have a beer.Celebrate. Let's Celebrate the Validation of the Passing of an Important Life.
Willie is my most anxious son and needed a real job application to fill out and a real job interview to succeed at to build his bank of self confidence. Last summer he worked at the garden because DeeJay got him a job there. He is smart and doesn't really think of that as something he did for himself.
On that same self confidence building note: at McDonald's, Willie has the opportunity to look great in comparison to.... OK, you get my drift. 
It is hard to get Grandpa out of his chair. It is hard to get everyone to smile simultaneously. It is hard to not put rabbit ears above someones head. 
All this non action is making Vince a little stir crazy because the sun has been out...and hot!...and we have not been fishing or camping or hiking. I will say that Vince is really showing how he has grown up and has not complained a bit. Having the four wheeler has helped his active heart and he has found many uses for it this week. This includes taking Falcom on a long early morning adventure. When Falcom was a very small boy and I was pregnant with Marina they used to take long hikes to 'the spooky forest' which was a forested lot down the street from us on Rangeview Ave. Both father and son were happy when they returned.
I simply feel that planning one of these events, calling it a Celebration of Life, and having the expectation that all mournful feelings should be compartmentalized, really misses the point. Can we say that we have had any impact to life on this planet if people can leave our memorial without shedding a tear? Shouldn't we leave the event feeling light hearted because we have shed our tears collectively?
